In 2001--Brad Pitt teamed up with Robert Redford in an espionage romp-caper called Spy Game. Starring Hollywood's sexiest leading men from the era of US's first involvement in the Vietnam War and the birth of Walmart (Redford circa early 60s) all the way up to and including today with the ageless wonder (Pitt circa early 90s). In regards to one William Bradley of Shawnee, OK—this was only two years removed from Fight Club's Tyler Durden and only one from Snatch's gypsy jabbering Mickey O’Neil. We’re talking truly peak Pitt. That's six sex-oozing decades of on-screen deliciousness.
Directed by Ridley's young bro Tony Scott, following his classic hits Top Gun and True Romance...before he tragically jumped from the Vincent Thomas Bridge, just before the Mayan Apocalypse.
Spy Game was the 38th highest grossing film that season, one that meandered around a mediocre DVD existence. Released at theatres a couple months after the towers fell and on video as the War in Afghanistan kickstarted, the connections to wartime are abundantly fresh.
I love this film, likely more than the average human being, but it's only mentioned here as a source of inspiration for Eat the Enemy.
In a flashback/video montage, Redford recalls how he first met Pitt as Joe Walsh's gorgeously haunting "Rocky Mountain Way" serenades the scene. Spring of 75 in Vietnam. We're shown the elder CIA agent Nathan D. Muir played by Redford flying into 'Nam to pick up a heavy hitter named Binh. Tragically, Binh died just before dawn. The only substitute on base is a rookie staff sergeant, Marine Scout Sniper Tom Bishop--and our historical meet-cute of heart throbs commences with Redford asking why Pitt resides at the back of the base.
"They live separately. Cook their own food. Gook food. The smell is awful, sir.” Redford’s response, “Not to the Enemy.”
It’s simply a given in tactical warfare—to blend in and infiltrate one's enemy in order to defeat them, one must adjust to their way of life. Avoid detection by common camouflage and one can easily and stealthily slit the proverbial throat of one’s competition…it’s in Sun Tzu’s Art of War, in a sense. Genghis Khan wore the same clothing and ate the same food as the cowards he demolished. Everyone knows what made Alexander the Great such a spectacular military commander was his versatility in the bedroom turned creativity on the battlefield—just like the animal kingdom tends to do, even outside their experimental college years. Wise soldiers will often smoke the cigarette brands of the opposing forces in order to deter discovery. Blend in to suspend surveillance and one creates the best path to an infestation of the opposition. To truly know one’s enemy fully—means to eat, drink, and breathe their every edible essence until you think as they do, act as they do—until instincts converge and a blueprint to success arises from the depths of that one cohesive soul. Solidarity in decimation.
Plus, it’s fun to experiment in the kitchen, to cook different cuisines representative of various regions—and learn a touch about a culture different from your own. It’s what kills ignorance and promotes knowledge.
Take this maze of a mindset along with the fact that sports were initially invented by the Romans in order to train soldiers during war’s offseason—and well, when in Rome…
Being a hippy pacifist, I’m normally not one to glorify or celebrate war—but since it’ll forever be engrained in our tainted DNA, one might as well apply it to a recipe in the meantime. Everyone should watch The Vietnam War by Ken Burn, stat—it’s a beautiful breakdown of how we’ve arrived at such a split in our nation. I’m beyond all-in for ending war and finding a peaceful path. If violence is our main ingredient to conquering, I’d like to stir in a bit of whimsical deliciousness to better savor the feast.
Being from the state of Arizona, I’m a diehard Cardinals fan--to an insanely strange level. No team in professional sports has had the degree of misery entrenched in their culture like the Arizona Cardinals. Even before the Cubbies overcame their curse, we held the pole position.
The Cardinals are the oldest team in existence for the league. Few knew it but they first came about in 1898 as the Morgan Athletic Club during the Spanish-American War—before our country owned Hawaii or Pepsi was given a name. They began play the year before Fred Astaire, Humphrey Bogart, and Alfred Hitchcock were birthed—while Friedrich Nietzsche and Oscar Wilde were still alive and thriving. 22 years before the league or the Chicago Bears began, which is the league's 2nd oldest franchise. They aren’t named the Cardinals for the perch bird, it’s because they were so poor they borrowed jerseys from the University of Chicago Maroons and that maroon had faded. Faded so much, the wife of their owner exclaimed that they looked Cardinal Red. During World War II, they combined forces with the Steelers because of financial struggles. They spent 62 seasons in Chicago, most of which while playing second fiddle to the Bears, before being shipped off to St. Louis in 1960—same year Bono and Sean Penn were born. After 27 years in the Lou, the bird gang migrated into the Valley of the Sun around my 8th birthday. To date, they’ve won two titles over 119 years—and the 1925 title was technically stolen from the Pottsville Maroons. (I have since buried a ceremonial trophy where the former stadium once stood in Pottsville, PA in order to reverse the curse. It’s now a mall.) For those keeping a legit count, it means the 1947 title is the only one we can officially claim. Having a team that began in 1898 and entered the league in it’s inaugural season of 1920, and only winning it all the same year David Bowie and Elton John arrived on this planet—and never again, instills a level of losing that only a true diehard finds strangely appealing. Much like the dumbfounded blind optimism of tricky Dick Nixon in pursuit of the War on Drugs, I'll forever adore the Arizona Cardinals to the bone. Because I'm a fool. Being a male child of the Xennial Generation (between the Generation X crew and Millennials--AKA the Oregon Trail Generation) I'm addicted to sports and pop culture in an unhealthy fashion. Add in a keen taste of foodie fodder and cultural coordination, and one arrives at the level of fandom I’ve found.
The league is in a peculiar place right now and my distaste has never been stronger. I grew up in the era where ferocious hits were passionately praised. I watched NFL’s Greatest Hits on VHS until the quality of the tape matched the product on the field of my Cardinals. Less than perfect.
Though it’s for good reasons, the need to cling to safety has made the game semi-unwatchable. No one can land on what’s a dirty hit or a great football play. Absolute confusion over what a catch is (Dez and Megatron = catch) has also spread to the puzzling uncertainty of fumbles at the pylons being a touchback—which has zero connection to the spirit of the game.
Touch the QB and it’s a flag. I’m constantly confused by the defenseless receiver call and the desire of officials to have tacklers successfully hit a one foot section of the body on an offensive player while moving at a rate of roughly 4.5 seconds per any given 40 yards. The onetime concept of unbridled warriors has slowly become more closely related to an overly controlled session of babysitting. The exhausting truth is during a three-hour match with about 9 minutes of actual action, nearly half the plays we see don’t count because of the constant precipitation of yellow flags is now fully omnipresent. I’m not going to tackle the anthem debate. 50% of all viewers hate me for thinking that the first amendment should hold as much weight at the second—and I’m exhausted of being called unAmerican in my thinking, plus just a touch scared that roughly half my country would enjoy killing me for my stance on the topic.
But I digress, my heart is plagued to constantly pay attention to a sport I’ll forever love. My first blog on the interwebs was titled I Heart the NFL. Take that sporting obsession I have and mix in a need to devour every essence of superstition, and stretch it across a sincere belief that I’m able to coerce the football gods into victory for my squad any given Sunday—and one can see why I birthed Eat the Enemy.
The first year I invented Eat the Enemy was in 2008. I began eating the food that corresponded to every opponent which led to a magical run in the playoffs, benefitting me both emotionally and financially. I was able to convince myself that my actions alone were the sole reason the Cardinals made it to the Super Bowl. Larry Fitzgerald helped of course. Though my constant cooking of cuisine and localized pop-culture has yet to yield an actual championship for my beloved Arizona Cardinals, I’m now willing to share Eat the Enemy in an effort to karmically will it out to the masses and help spread the most exciting method of watching pigskin action. Each week, my goal is to consume as much edible goodness symbolic of that specific opponent of the Cardinals, all in order to allow destiny to discover a desired destination of victory.
Enjoy thoroughly and thank you dearly for being interested in Eat the Enemy. It’s been a labor of love for over a decade. And being on the cusp of Generation X, I’m obviously allergic to profiting financially from my haphazard attempts at entrepreneurialism. Being on the cusp of a Millennial, I’m forever obsessed with sharing every thought I’ve ever considered, openly. Since I believe Capitalism is evil—sharing a common desire to exist in the highest rank of cohesion will someday make the world a better place to live. Steal from me if you wish—since nothing is sacred anymore. If it brings you any profit I missed out upon, I’m a firm believer in karma and now that’ll all work out in the end.
However if you're a representative for any localized eatery, distillery, or brewery—please contact me personally for potential sponsorship because I remain a starving artist open to certain possibilities of commerce.
Thank you, Cosmo
PS
For those interested in the formation of the league--here's a Cliff Notes breakdown of how the largest non-profit organization came to dominate the landscape of sports. Congrats on the billion dollar industry finally paying taxes for the first time this past year too.
The 32 franchises, in chronological order.
[The Original Four]: Cardinals, Bears, Packers, Giants
1. 1898/1920 Arizona Cardinals (initially the Morgan Athletic Club)
Started in Chicago—moved to STL then Arizona.
Since 1898, as Lenin was first dabbling in Socialism, officially.
Cardinals shared the city of Chicago for four decades with the Bears.
2. 1919/1920 Chicago Bears (initially the Decatur Staleys)
Since 1919, as the Grand Canyon is established a National Park
In 1920, the league was born in a car showroom in Ohio—only the Cardinals and Bears survive from then. As everyone knows, the Bears share the league’s greatest rivalry with the Packers.
3. 1919/1921 Green Bay Packers
Since 1919--same year Nazis and the toaster are invented, it took a couple years for them to enter the league.
The Four Super Bowl rings club consists of the Packers— and Giants.
4. 1925 New York Giants
Since 1925--as the New Yorker publishes her first issue
[The First Expansion]: Lions, Redskins, Eagles, Steelers
5. 1929/1930 Detroit Lions (initially the Portsmouth Spartans)
Since 1929--while the Academy Awards, Popeye, and color television were introduced to hungry Americans
6. 1932 Washington Redskins (initially the Boston Braves)
Since 1932--George Washington's 200th birthday, and the first year women entered the Senate
7. 1933 Philadelphia Eagles
Since 1933--while Franklin Roosevelt stated "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself" and King Kong is born
8. 1933 Pittsburgh Steelers (initially the Pittsburgh Pirates)
Since 1933, as the SF's Golden Gate bridge begins construction
[Other Leagues enter the fray]: Rams, 49ers, Browns, Colts
9. 1936/1937 Los Angeles Rams (initially Cleveland Rams, then LA, then STL, then LA again)
Since 1936--as the last public execution is enjoyed on American soil in Owensboro KY
10. 1946/1950 San Francisco 49ers (now Santa Clara in all reality)
Since 1946--while six inmates successfully escape Alcatraz, leading to the Battle of Alcatraz
11. 1946/1950 Cleveland Browns*
Since 1946--as bikinis are first sold, in Paris...20 days later, the atomic bomb is tested near Bikini Atoll
12. 1953 Indianapolis Colts (haphazardly stolen from Baltimore)
Since 1953--also first summit of Mt. Everest, James Bond's literary debut, and Playboy unveiled
[The Retro Rebirth]: Cowboys, Vikings, Falcons, Saints
13. 1960 Dallas Cowboys
Since 1960--as JFK is elected President--Dallas would again enter the fold at a later date
14. 1961 Minnesota Vikings
Since 1961--as Princess Diana is birthed and the toddler eventually known as Prince can sing for first time
15. 1966 Atlanta Falcons
Since 1966--as the SR-71 is introduced (still the fasted air-breathing manned aircraft)
PS: the peregrine Falcor is the fastest air-breathing animal for serendipity junkies
16. 1967 New Orleans Saints
Since 1967--as Thurgood Marshall becomes the first African-American justice on the Supreme Court and Jim Morrison says the word "higher" on The Ed Sullivan Show
[The American/National Merger]: Chiefs, Titans, Broncos, Chargers, Jets, Bills, Patriots, Raiders, Dolphins, Bengals
17. 1960/1970 Kansas City Chiefs (initially the Dallas Texans)
Since 1960--as eventual Chief RB Christian Okoye is conceived--the "Nigerian Nightmare" of a dream come true
18. 1960/1970 Tennessee Titans (initially the Houston Oilers, briefly in Memphis)
Since 1960, as the first patent for a laser is awarded
19. 1960/1970 Denver Broncos
Since 1960, as Muhammad Ali wins his first pro bout and eventual Bronco John Elway is born
20. 1960/1970 Los Angeles Chargers (initially the Los Angeles Chargers, then SD, back to LA)
Since 1960--as Joanne Woodward is awarded the first star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame
21. 1960/1970 New York Jets (initially the Titans of New York)
Since 1960--as the US Food & Drug okays the first birth control pill
22. 1960/1970 Buffalo Bills (briefly in Toronto for a bit)
Since 1960--as Domino's Pizza and eventual Bill Jim Kelly are both born
23. 1960/1970 New England Patriots (initially the Boston Patriots)
Since 1960--as four black students patriotically try to eat at Woolworth's lunch counter in Greensboro NC
24. 1960/1970 Oakland Raiders (briefly Los Angeles based, soon to be in Las Vegas)
Since 1960--as Dwight Eisenhower authorizes Cuban refugees into Florida, leading to Tony Montana of course
eventual Raiders Howie Long and Marcus Allen are also born
25. 1966/1970 Miami Dolphins
Since 1966--as John Lennon meets Yoko Ono and the Beatles become "more popular than Jesus now"
26. 1968/1970 Cincinnati Bengals
Since 1968--as Nguyễn Văn Lém is executed by Nguyễn Ngọc Loan in Saigon on camera...you've seen the iconic Pulitzer Prize photograph by Eddie Adams. It helped ignite the anti-war movement. But it's also the same year 2001: A Space Odyssey and Planet of the Apes hits theatres if you're not into real history or social justice.
[Further Expansion, establishing an empire]: Buccaneers, Seahawks, Panthers, Jaguars, Ravens, Texans
27. 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Since 1976--as Fidel Castro becomes President of Cuba for the first time
28. 1976 Seattle Seahawks
Since 1976--The Amityville Horror takes place in Long Island...and Ryan Reynolds is born
Fun fact: Ryan would star in a film about the Amityville debacle, same season the Seahawks lost a controversial match against the Steelers in Detroit
29. 1995 Carolina Panthers
Since 1995--as Superman was paralyzed from the neck down while horseback riding
30. 1995 Jacksonville Jaguars
Since 1995--as Windows 95 and WTO are born. Horrible year for caring/non-Capitalistic-crazed civilians
31. 1996 Baltimore Ravens*
Since 1996--as Billy Bailey becomes the last US hanging--in Delaware, Liberty and Independence....
32. 2002 Houston Texans
Since 2002--as George W Bush invades Afghanistan. He'd do the same to Iraq. Fiscally conservative turns out to be a wildly expensive title. Luckily, waging a war on an idealogical concept is winnable--it'll be over soon.
* means it's confusing, I'll explain later
And when two years are given, the first year they were created followed by the year they entered the league.